I’ve been coaching baseball for about 13 years – age groups from 4-year olds to 15-year olds – and I’ve come to appreciate a certain amount of confidence and cockiness in a player. It’s probably because with that oftentimes comes some sharp, sarcastic wit – and I LOVE that, even in kids.
I had a player about six or seven years ago who I love to talk about to this day. He played shortstop for me and he was our closer (the pitcher who comes in at the end of the games to preserve a win). I can’t tell you how many times I brought him into a game in a really tight situation – bases loaded, no outs, bottom of the last inning up by one. Yeah. Uncomfortable.
Matt didn’t care one bit – he knew he was capable of handling the situation and relished the opportunity to test himself. I don’t recall a time he didn’t succeed although I’m sure over the years there were some. But he delivered in the clutch consistently and always with a smile.
He was a big time travel hockey guy too, and he played baseball like a hockey player – 1000% everything, all the time. He was sharp as a tack – always with the snappy comeback and that twinkle in his eye. It was never disrespectful, but usually just a little left of center. Cocky and confident. He was also respectful to his teammates, and they willingly recognized him as a leader on the team, and had confidence in his ability to lead.
I had another player some years later who also had very promising skills on the field – especially at the plate. This guy could flat out hit. He also had a great deal of confidence in himself on the mound. And while he didn’t get the same consistent results as Matt, it didn’t seem to affect his image of self.
The difference between the second player and the first player is that the second player crossed the cocky/confident line to arrogance. He had a belief that he was better than those around him – including his teammates. That’s hard to coach, and hard to incorporate into a team setting. And because of his arrogance, he didn’t have the respect of his teammates.
On the other side of that fine line past cocky and confident where arrogance starts, it’s hard to communicate and collaborate too. And I don’t know anyone who relishes arrogance as a trait to admire, but I really loathe any kind of condescension – especially arrogance. Arrogant people seem to have a belief that the rules of comportment – in business and in their personal lives – don’t apply to them; that they are somehow above it all.
For me the difference between cocky and confident, and arrogant is this: Cocky and confident means I believe in myself. Arrogant means I believe I’m better than you.
I know that not everyone is comfortable with cocky, but there is a certain amount of self confidence that is necessary to be successful in life and in business. It’s the inner voice that says, “Bring on the challenge. I’m ready to test myself and make myself better. I can do this.” There’s a belief in yourself, and there’s a willingness and eagerness to continuously learn and improve yourself as a person.
On the flip side of that, I’d argue that arrogance stands in the way of progress because the arrogant person oftentimes doesn’t believe that improvement is necessary – he may even believe that improvement isn’t possible; I don’t know. What I do know is that no matter who you are there is always an opportunity to learn, and there is always someone who knows something you don’t know. Yes, there is always someone smarter than you.
Effective leaders, and those who wish to become effective leaders understand the concept of lifelong learning both personally and professionally. They have the self-confidence to be open to learning; the self confidence to admit they don’t know everything, and the willingness to learn from those around them – even those in subordinate roles.
Self confidence and a healthy belief in yourself is great. Arrogance and condescension may work for a while, but you’ll never truly have allies to help you succeed in life or business. Effective leaders not only have confidence (some with a dash of cocky), they also have another necessary ingredient – committed followers.
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