My oldest son turned 18 last week. Whoa! That was fast. It seems like just yesterday blah, blah, blah, but it’s true! They say, “Time flies when you’re having fun.” Ain’t that the truth.
I looked forward to being a parent for many years before we had kids (two boys), and now they’re getting to the age when they’re going to leave home – REALLY not looking forward to that. The usual kid and parent clashes notwithstanding, my wife and I have a great relationship with both boys.
The 18-year old, of course, is thinking that now that he’s 18, he’s a man. And I guess by law he is, and I’m certain I was the same way. So naturally he felt compelled to express his new-found adulthood and independence with a few quick decisions to announce his arrival with authority: The ears are now pierced and sporting diamond studs, and the hair has gone from a dark brown to a goldish color (not blondish, goldish – like the color of the precious metal).
Because I write about workplace issues, and oftentimes how life can mimic that experience, this seminal life moment – his and ours! – got me thinking about how we transitions from one stage to the next in the workplace. Do we handle them like responsible adults, or like teenagers still learning to be responsible adults?
How many times have you had an initial reaction to a decision or situation that, with time, made you go, “huh, that wasn’t the end of the world after all.” As I’ve said before (and will probably say again), everyone has to take some of the responsibility for their workplace environment. When you have options – and we do most of the time, don’t we? – control the spin, put a happy face on and make the best of your situation. I know that’s easier said than done sometimes, but it beats the heck out of being miserable.
If you want better communication, make sure you’re communicating well and hold others accountable too. If you want more responsibility, be willing to stick your neck out a bit when you feel strongly about something. If you want more autonomy, take more initiative and prove you can handle autonomy. Sometimes a supervisor is afraid to delegate for fear things won’t get done. (Of course, sometimes there are micromanagers who won’t delegate – COMPLETELY different topic to address some other time.)
As for my son, the truth of the matter is that I don’t have a problem with guys and earrings (anyone who knows me well could tell you that). And the hair? Well, like my mom always used to say, “It grows.” Neither earrings nor hair coloring is a life-changing decision. And in the process he’s learning how to be a responsible adult.
How are you handling your transitions?
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